I think that worry is an unhealthy habit. I am not immune to this disease. I enjoy living alone and being independent, but I also have anxiety when I feel the burden of isolation when I’m not connected meaningfully to others. This is why it is important to build a community that fulfills that emptiness from lack of purpose. My purpose has been to teach health and wellness through meditation, yoga and pilates, and also writing.
The psychology of worry is the need to control and maintain homeostasis. But also, maintaining this state of changelessness can be a cause of worry that can lead to depression. From my own experience, as my life unfolds to living without a mate to share my life with, there’s a deep emotional and psychological burden of finding meaning in the simple things. I miss the anticipation and joy of preparing a meal to be shared with someone who also appreciates this ritual.
The ritual begins with planning. There there is the execution. I like shopping for the ingredients, and choosing to buy the “best” of whatever the purse strings can afford. Maybe even splurging a little extra for a more expensive bottle of wine or whatever it is that can be elevated as an offering to the beloved. And on the ritual goes, until the gathering at the table, excited not so much over the food and wine, but the meal in itself and what it represents – “Wholiness” equating to Whole Plus Holiness. The joining together creates a holy completeness, a union, the yoga, the breaking of the bread, communion.
Wholiness = Whole + Holiness
When I started teaching yoga, I offered a weekly class focused on seniors. It was hosted by the library and the event was well attended. Many attendees appreciated the opportunity to exercise, move mindfully and learn how to practice yoga. After the 50 minute class there was the opportunity for the participants to have tea, coffee, cookies and pastries. For the attendees the highlight of the event was”coming together”. It brought a moment of joy and light in their day, and some even said for the week. As a yoga teacher, when given the permission to touch to adjust someone’s pose, I feel a melting surrender that almost whispers “Thank You.” A loving touch is healing.
The meaningful connection with another human being helps dissolve that anxiety of loneliness. Truly, I believe that when we can connect heart to heart with another being regardless of the circumstances (the ideal being a celebration festooned with flowers, a candle and a meal), the “coming together” alleviates the habit of worry. My main meaningful relationship at home is my senior dog, two cats and ten chickens. Beyond the household, I have my work as a yoga-pilates instructor and my writing community. I confess that I need to nurture my writing community more this year.
I haven’t fulfilled my duty to write daily or more frequently for my blog week, because my dog, Goliath, underwent a serious dental surgery. It started with a molar abscess that needed surgery to remove a bad tooth. Before the surgery, I was fraught with worry that she would not wake up from the anesthesia. She made it and she’s now recovering with a healthy appetite for food and life.
As I write now, I also recognize that I “freeze” when I’m going through something heavy. I simply cannot write. I need to work on this too. The “freezing” is a form of worry.
Thank you for reading and thank you for the opportunity to connect with you.
