Soon a “milestone” birthday will be upon me.  My longtime Danish friend, Michael, made me laugh when he asked in a supposed tactful way, “Isn’t December when you upgrade to version X.0?”  (I’ll let you guess what X represents.)  Michael and I are both from the tech world, so I responded, “I need a rollout plan.”

It’s true.  I don’t have a rollout plan.  It was only today that I started to think about what to do for my birthday.  What is a milestone birthday?  Isn’t every birthday a milestone, anyway?  Isn’t everyday a milestone?  I know some people who are grateful for every morning they awaken.  The ones I remember who talk like this are enthusiastic and humble people.   

It may sound arrogant of me to say that I don’t feel old, because I haven’t yet matured.

What is maturity?  If I were to identify as a bottle of red wine (of the bolder variety), then I am not yet ready to be uncorked.  I need a few more knocks on my head and turned upside down before I “grow up”.  

I’m not seeking adventure, but seeking a transcendence in consciousness.  When the upgrade to version X.0 happens then I want to be able to have plasticity in attitude that I can still be open to seeing life through a different pair of lenses.  

It would be a little like the movie “Groundhog Day”.  Each morning, I wake up and relive the day until I “get it right”.

What would you do if you were stuck in one place, and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?

– Phil Connors, weatherman in “Groundhog Day”

I don’t feel the need to go to a destination place to find myself.  I can do that work right where I am, day in and day out.  Where I go, there I am, always.  

On Thanksgiving I had a chance to try an excellent bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon from the Stag’s Leap District.  I would be deeply satisfied to share this wine, some flavorful cheeses, butter and honest bread (i.e. simple ingredients and handmade) on my birthday.  It would be special to share it meaningfully with other people who wouldn’t know it was my birthday, while my dog is lazing around; the kittens making mischief; and the roosters crowing while the hens scratch for worms and bugs.

It would be better that the others didn’t know.  It would just be a gathering to enjoy the moment with good food, good wine and conversation.  Another day of chop wood, fetch water.  It’ll be another day to find the extraordinary in the ordinary.