I don’t know about you but with me, every time I hit another level/dimension in my writing, I feel like I’ve been put through a winepress then stretched out like taffy and thrown back into my mold. It’s as if all the pieces and parts of me get re-blended back into themselves in different proportions. I am momentarily left somewhat disoriented and completely vulnerable to self-doubt. Then, the last of me gets pressed through and suddenly the execution of a story that seemed to be a fleeting vapor in my mind materializes and I am able to embrace the change in myself.
Recently, I have been on a mission to stretch – to consciously grow in my craft – to be more uncompromising when I write. I can’t think commercial; I have to think timely. I have to continue to write to my rhythm and submit from what I have rather than write to submit. Although, it is very good exercise to push oneself to write a play specifically for a certain conference or contest; it can get in the way when one needs to revisit a story but writers learn by writing so the time is never wasted. When stretching, I like to read/see other playwrights’ plays which help me dissect my own work (written, in progress, even in the idea stage). I have been telling myself to stretch for about seven months now… I wasn’t quite sure how to do it so I figured that if I spoke it to myself long enough, it would materialize somehow. By speaking it, I would be able to reach from where I was to where I wanted to go. Seven months ago, I thought it was possible. Today, I know it is possible because I am seeing a change in myself and my writing. I know now that I am ready to revisit pieces from my back burner and work through them. I’m not the same person I was when I put the pieces on the back burner; I’m more open to bending form to tell the story. I’m more confident that I can create something new out of vapors – the same way I become new each time I go through the winepress…