Second Guessing…

There are times when well after the lid on the mail box has closed and I have driven away from the Post Office that I have a moment of second guessing.  Sometimes, it doesn’t hit me for a few days but it always hits me.  Did I pick the right play to send?  Is it as good a play as I think it is?  So annoying — like having buyer’s remorse.  Took me a while to figure out that that was what I was feeling.  Knowing doesn’t stop my “buyer’s remorse” moment but it does make me chuckle a little.  To offset this, I decided to add a column to my submission log titled “Why did I choose this play to send?”  This will help me five months down the road to remember that each play is chosen for more than just being a match for the theater or contest.  I am planting a forest.  In my quest to get my work out there (into the world), I want it to also cultivate the trees in my forest — trees that are steadily growing even when it seems that no one is watching but me.  I do not want to spend time second guessing my choices; I want to stay focused on my long term plans as a playwright and I want to always be writing…  I have less of a problem with second guessing during the actual writing process once I get started and choose the character names.  Even when the names change/evolve because of the story, second guessing is never an issue.  I am learning to work on those moments of doubt after the play has been completed and shipped off for contact with the outside world.  I am learning to enjoy that part of being a playwright as much as I enjoy writing the play in the first place…

3 thoughts on “Second Guessing…

  1. I’ve had that feeling, too — but my second guessing is in the form of a year later feeling, “oh, crap, this needs more work!!!” and wishing I hadn’t sent something out. But sometimes I know that if I didn’t send things out… they’d never get sent out… because gosh darnit, they ALWAYS need more work 🙂

  2. You are obviously much more together than I am, Robin. You second guess, I have panic attacks. Sigh. Love your planting and cultivating images! Definitely something to keep in mind . . .

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